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one day

You may see this. for the time being I know you’re over me. for the time being I tell myself I’m over you. but the truth is, how can I be over someone who played a crucial role in making me who I am? I see the reasons you were taken out of my life so swiftly, but to be honest it all hurts the same. dust in the wind this post is, 1-2 sets of eyes will breeze by probably not even the eyes of whom it is directed to. but I’m a man now. a man who knows what he has lost. a man who is ultimately wiser thanks to you. I don’t expect this but you’ll never be turned away despite my hatred of of every single memory of you I have. a sickness wells in my very mind to think I will potentially press the publish button. here I am, moving forward in life. putting it in reverse to see if you still think of me as often as I think of you. your name still haunts my tongue, common mishaps occur almost daily still. to hear a song remotely implying love brings the most hurtful of memories. I wish to forget it all despite treasuring them for so long. if only fate had other plans.

To whoever feels like hearing my cry

Still having the hardest time dealing with the breakup between me and my fiance. I’ve whined enough on Facebook.
I’ve led everyone to believe that I feel okay about it now, and that I’m not actually that pathetic.
I am not okay about it at all, and I truly am pathetic…
I gave up my one dream in life to keep you by my side, I fought through the lies, the hardships the complete nonsense. all because I simply knew you were the one I’d love forever, god if only you could peek inside my mind to know truly what I mean to say. was it not enough to throw away my career? my very best friend in the whole world was always there for me through everything I’ve ever done, I gave that friendship up so you’d feel safe.
I’ve spent thousands of dollars flying and bussing throughout america just to be with you, fought countless times with people who often had valid points, but I stuck to your story to strengthen you. I can’t believe how naive I was to give some literally all I am and was, if you ever read this, it will very obviously be too late, you’re flying out tomorrow night to forget me forever. I saved you from yourself countless times, and you’re not here to save me. I’m officially alone and it is the scariest thing I’ve felt in a very long time…god if you’re up there I hope you have a really great plan to have been the engineer of this surreal heartbreak…

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